There are more than 5,500 active players in D1 men’s college basketball this season, a sample size plenty large enough to yield its fair share of exceptional names. Players like KyKy Tandy (pronounced ‘Key-Key’) at Xavier, Churchill Bounds at Central Arkansas (pictured above), Wooga Poplar at Miami, Chris Cross (!!) at Southern Illinois, Love Bettis at North Carolina A&T…the list of notable names in men’s college basketball is extensive, wild and wacky. In the spirit of narrowing it down to the players with names as good as their games, I give you your 2022-2023 All-Name Team.

Dain Dainja (Forward, Illinois)

Let me take you on a highway to the Dainja Zone. Dain redshirted in each of the past two years, first at Baylor during their 2021 national championship run and then at Illinois after transferring mid-season. Even though he didn’t play a lick in games, Dainja proved his worth at practice last season when he matched up against the team’s behemoth center Kofi Cockburn everyday (you best believe Cockburn made this list a year ago).

Coach Brad Underwood has nicknamed his new 6’9″ 270 pound center the Dancing Bear. “He’s just really light on his feet; he’s got some quick twitch to him,” Underwood remarked at the start of the season. “He’s a unique piece at that size. And then he’s got a 7’8 wingspan.”

Dainja continued to work on himself this past offseason by shedding twenty pounds and sharpening his agility without compromising any strength. He boasts above average ball-handling, rebounding, and backdown abilities, but can also dribble penetrate and distribute the basketball better than most bigs. Most notably, though, Dain has that “clutch” gene; he’s come up big in the limelight on several occasions against the likes of UCLA, Michigan State, and Texas. Dude is absolutely Dainja-rous.

Sir’Jabari Rice (Guard, Texas)

Texas’ knight in burnt orange armor exceeded expectations from the moment he set foot in Austin last summer. Sir’Jabari previously played four seasons at New Mexico State, where he averaged double digits and multiple assists. Like many players of this day and age, Rice wisely took advantage of his “covid” season – an extra year of eligibility granted to anyone who played during the 2019-2020 season.

For most up-transfers, making the jump from mid-major to power conference competition seldom guarantees success. But that hasn’t stopped Sir’Jabari from growing into one of the most important players on one of the best teams in the country. Rice has already won Big 12 Newcomer of the Week twice and continues to shine when it matters most. His two biggest scoring outputs (21 points each time) came in crucial wins against Tennessee and Baylor. Pair him with scoring assassin Marcus Carr and floor general Tyrese Hunter and you’ve got the makings of a backcourt primed to make a deep run in the Dance.

Jonathan Tchamwa Tchatchoua (Forward, Baylor)

JTT was nicknamed ‘Everyday Jon’ for his reliability game-to-game amidst Baylor’s national title run, but stock in that label plummeted when he suffered a gruesome ACL injury a year ago. Fortunately, this story has a happy ending after Tchamwa Tchatchoua (pronounced CHOM-wa CHOCH-oo-a by most people, but as he recently alluded to it might actually be CHOM–wa choch-OO-a) made a miraculous recovery and recently returned to the Bears’ line-up.

Everyday Jon has everything you’d want out of an everyday big. He can score in the post, guard multiple positions, block shots, run the floor, grab a gotta-have-it rebound, and feed the rock to the open mouth. Baylor had already started to click before Tchammy Tchatch Boy’s return. With his reinsertion into the line up they are now as fearsome as foes come. Don’t be surprised if he’s cutting down the nets in April.

Tyger Campbell (Guard, UCLA)

Tyger Campbell is the full package: great name, great game, and elite hair. Seriously though…look at this dude’s crop! Simply immaculate, and it’s all because he hated getting haircuts as a kid and started growing the flow indefinitely at age 11.

Tyger’s parents named him after Tiger Woods and he’s got the drive to back it up. After redshirting due to an injury his freshman year, Campbell has improved his point total and shooting percentage in each of the last three seasons at UCLA. He played a pivotal role alongside former All-Name Teamer Johnny Juzang in their deep tournament run back in 2021, where they nearly bested then undefeated Gonzaga. Campbell continued his upward trajectory last season and earned First Team All-Pac 12 honors.

Tyger’s passing abilities have always resembled poetry in motion but it’s his marked improvements as a shooter that have taken his game to new heights this season. The most dramatic shift has been from behind the arc. He’s a 40% three point shooter after never before eclipsing 30%.

Campbell’s Bruins are brewing all the right ingredients for a dominant run in March. They’ve got defense, balanced scoring, star power, coaching, and experience. Get used to seeing a whole lot more of his hair.

Federiko Federiko (Forward, Pittsburgh)

Not a typo. Dude has the same first and last name! Sure, we’ve heard this tune before (see Ali Ali of Butler and Akok Akok of Georgetown), but never with THIS many syllables! His teammates often call him Fedé for short but I, sir, will cut no such corners.

Federiko’s story is as interesting as his name. Born in Cairo and relocated to Helsinki at a young age, Federiko is quick to praise Finland for his diverse upbringing. “I grew up with people from Somalia, from Spain, Italy, Russia, Sweden, so a lot of different cultures,” he recently noted in an interview. Federiko speaks four languages thanks to this exposure: Finnish, Swedish, English and Arabic.

He grew up playing soccer like his dad, but his mother convinced him to capitalize on his vertical talents and pivot to hoops. He moved to the States in 2020 for his senior year of high school but went unnoticed by most recruiting circles in the shadow of Covid. After a breakout year at Northern Oklahoma junior college, the phones finally started ringing from D1 coaches. Federiko chose Pitt over West Virginia and has since proven to be a perfect fit in the Panthers program. Jeff Capel’s squad plays brand of basketball that is team-first to its core – a carbon copy of the style Federiko grew up playing in Finland.

Federiko Federiko does all of the little things that add up to winning – the Panthers are 12-3 since he was inserted into the starting line up mid-December. When his number’s been called, Fede Finland has risen to the occasion against elite ACC bigs like Armando Bacot, PJ Hall, and Kyle Filipowski.

Boogie Ellis (Guard, USC)

Boogie is the heart and soul of the Trojans. They go as he goes – this was none more evident than in USC’s comeback victory over UCLA in January. Down 12 at the half, Boogie exploded for 27 of his game-high 31 points in the second frame and led his team to a decisive 77-64 W.

Rejean Tramain “Boogie” Ellis Jr. initially committed to Duke, but he requested that the Blue Devils release his letter of intent when Tre Jones elected to return for another year as the starting point guard. Ellis played for the Memphis Tigers his first two college seasons and transferred to USC heading into the 2021 season. Practically all of his stat lines took a jump once he made the leap from Tennessee to SoCal. His numbers are even more impressive this season – 16.3 PPG, 1.6 STL, 3.0 AST, 3.8 REB.

The biggest leap year-over-year has been his passing. Last season Ellis gravitated towards more of an iso game, which, in fairness, was a strength that played into USC’s decision to recruit him in the first place. Boogie has always had a smooth handle and can be trusted to create his own shot, but this season he has assumed more responsibilities as a floor general and his team has thrived because of it. The most glaring benefit of Ellis’ point guard play has been that it’s allowed the Trojans to protect the ball. Their turnover rate has plummeted of late and it remains a key ingredient to their tournament hopes.

Leaky Black (Forward, UNC)

Nothing leaky about this guy’s defense. Black has been the anchor of the Tar Heels’ D for years and last season it nearly bought them a national title. He isn’t flashy but he’s as consistent a player as you’ll ever see. Try this on for size: Black is the only Tar Heel ever to eclipse 600 career points, 500 rebounds, 300 assists, 100 steals, and 50 blocks.

The pre-season # 1 Tar Heels have struggled throughout much of this season but you can’t blame Leaky for much of it. His rebounds, blocks, steals, and points are all up from last year and his defense remains elite. He is also an A+ interview and had the courage to speak with the media about mental health and detail his ongoing battle with anxiety.

Leaky has endured some of the North Carolina’s lowest of lows as a program. After a successful freshman season, his 2019-2020 squad finished an alarming 14-19 to earn the worst winning percentage in Tar Heels history. It was perhaps as good of a time for a lost season as any – no one else played in the tournament that year either. They followed this up with mediocre 18-11 campaign in 2020-2021, culminating in a first-round tournament exit, and appeared to be on the same path last season until they started stringing together tournament wins like nobody’s business.

The fate of Leaky’s super-senior season still lies in the balance. His Tar Heels sit in now-familiar bubble territory, with time yet to build momentum heading into March.

Souley Boum (Guard, Xavier)

The up-transfer from UTEP really made a boom on Xavier’s squad this year. He is widely regarded as one of the most impactful transfers in the country.

Boum boasts 16 points, 5 assists, and 4 rebounds per game as the starting point guard for a Big East juggernaut. His feel for the game has proven to be his greatest asset. He controls the pace at all times, with a knack for adjusting the tempo to speed up or slow down based on time, score, or circumstance. Make no mistake, though – his optimal speed is lightning fast and damn near unguardable. He steps up when the occasion calls for it thanks to a perennial flow of ice through his veins, but he also steps back when the match-up favors his talented teammates.

What’s impressed me most this season has been Souley’s growth on the defensive side of the ball. Boum was not known for his guarding abilities in the past. He wasn’t asked play much defense at UTEP and San Francisco. Slowly but surely, however, he has embrace Sean Miller’s defensive philosophies and held his own against some of the nation’s most talented guards.

Boum is lethal as a triple threat on offense and sneaky with his strength and length on D. Teammate Colby Jones calls him “the head of the snake.” Souley is slithering towards a terrific tournament run.

Tylor Perry (Guard, North Texas)

Tylor Perry is a house of payne for any opponent. It’s been this way for each of his two seasons on the Mean Green, who haven’t been very nice to the rest of C-USA this decade. North Texas played their way into the NCAA tournament back in 2021 and pulled off a stunning upset over powerhouse Purdue. They went 16-2 in conference play last year to run away with the regular season conference title, and this season stand narrowly behind Cinderella-in-the-making Florida Atlantic University in the conference standings.

Perry’s stat line this season is nucking futs. He’s averaging 17.3 points, 1.3 steals, 2.2 assists, 3.3 rebounds and is shooting 45% from three and 85% from the line. All the markings of an elite scorer who earlier this year pitched a perfect 7-7 from three in a game where he ended up notching 35 points.

The smallest player on UNT’s roster, Perry learned to play big from a young age thanks to his cousin – Jeffrey Simpson – who starred as a center for the Mean Green from 2004-2006. In 2007, fresh off his first professional season overseas in Turkey, Simpson spent a summer back at North Texas taking classes to finish his degree and invited 8-year-old Perry to shadow him for a few days to watch him and his former teammates play pick-up. The experience was eye-opening for Tylor, and he never forgot his cousin’s lasting advice: if you want to play at this level, you’re going to have to guard guys Simpson’s size.

Perry is a treat to watch with his dazzling cross-overs and step-backs. He has perfected every little trick necessary in order to heed his cousin’s advice and play far bigger than his own stature. Not much you can do to stop this guy when the ball is in his hands for the closing seconds of a game. Watch out for the Mean Green next month if they can escape what promises to be a gauntlet of a C-USA tournament.

Supreme Cook (Forward, Fairfield)

Averaging more than 13 points and 8 rebounds a game, this 6’9” junior forward has been cooking at a supreme level for Fairfield this season. Supreme is a double-double machine: he’s already logged seven this season and fell either a single point or rebound short of adding to this list on three other occasions.

Cook has excellent footwork and positioning in the paint. These skills complement a killer hook shot and ferocious pump fake. In other words, this guy gets to his spots and there’s not a whole lot the defense can do about it. His shot quality is supreme.

A true two-way player, Supreme Cook wins his team just as many games on defense as he does on offense. He guards with patience and poise, rarely getting into foul trouble, and has a knack for baiting opponents into getting blocked or stolen from. In situations where he can knock the rock loose, he’s got the motor to take it coast to coast and cash it in on the other end without breaking a sweat. We’d be talking a lot more about this guy if he played for a better team.

Boo Buie (Guard, Northwestern)

Boo buie (pronounced ‘Boo Boo-ee’) has had a scary good college career at Northwestern.  The 6’2″ guard has increased his points, rebounds and assists in each of the past four seasons. As a senior, Buie is averaging a whopping 16.6 points, 4.4 assists, 3.4 rebounds and 1.1 steals.

Boo has been extra spooky against the Big Ten elite. He put up 26 points in a monumental win over Indiana a month ago and another 26 last Sunday in a season-defining upset over #1 Purdue. Sure, he’s been great in the big games, but how about overall? Well, how’s this for consistency: Buie has scored double digits in every game this season except two.

If you’re thinking the recipe for slowing this guy down might be fouling him, think again. Buie shoots 88.2% from the charity stripe. But if Boo has any glaring weakness, it’s his perimeter shooting. Although he shot 36% from three as recently as two seasons ago, that number has shriveled down to a meager 29.1% this year. The fact of the matter is that perimeter shooting isn’t really the Wildcats’ cup-o-tea: they only shoot a smidge over 30% as a team. It isn’t really part of their blueprint to win, and that’s a-okay in their book.

I highly doubt that Purdue found any vindication holding Northwestern to 18% from three.